Wednesday, June 10, 2009

What is making you stay?

Hello all,

Today I will examine and take a look at why some women stay and put up with the bullshit that men dish out. I actually asked a "stayer" some questions during girl talk and I got some real serious answers.

For some reason, people feel that they can tell me anything. I don't mind, because I like to help people.

I asked Brittany*, she has been with her boyfriend for 7 years, and still hasn't gotten a change. What is making her stay, you ask? These are the answers:

RWDRT: So, Brittany, how long have you and your boyfriend been together?

B: 7 years. We have been through a lot together.

RWDRT: Can you say that there has been mostly good, bad, or both?

B: To be honest, mostly bad. But at least he's not sleeping with his baby moms anymore.

RWDRT: How can you be so sure?

B: She moved out of town.

RWDRT: Oh, ok, that was a good thing-how old are you?

B: 23. He broke my virginity and we have been together ever since.

RWDRT: And how old is boyfriend? His son?

B: Ronnie* is 24. His son is 2.

RWDRT: Ok, so the baby was concieved during your relationship with him?

B: Yes. It was a hard time for me, considering I was the main girl and she was just the bitch on the side. I knew about her, I was mad, but I was like, fuck it, if I'm the main girl, it doesn't matter what he does with just broke my heart because in the process of all that, I found that he wasn't using protection wih any of us and I caught something.

RWDRT: Can I ask what you caught? Also, you were really that cool with sharing your guy?

B: I caught chlamydia. Thank God. If I couldn't get rid of it I was really going to be tight....I was cool with it simply because I knew they didn't have nothing on me and they was never about to take my place.

RWDRT: Wow...that's an interesting outlook, may I ask what else have you been thru with this guy?

B: We fight and stuff sometimes. We fist fight. It's not all the time, so I don't see it as being harmful or serious. The last time we fought HARD Was like 2 years ago. I got a black eye. He said he will never hit me in my face again. He just hits me on my legs and my arms, I hardly ever get any bruises. The one time he slapped me in my face in front of everyone in the grocery store. We were in line too. He doesn't like it when I get smart with him. He does have a good side though. He likes to play around a lot. But only when he is in the mood. I have fought at least 5 girls behind him, and my family doesn't really talk to me anymore. They think I am crazy for letting him do what he does, but when you're in love, you're in love.

RWDRT: Brittany, if he loved you, he wouldn't be using you for a punching bag. He could seriously hurt you one day. What did your parents say when you had a black eye?

B: well, my dad is MIA and has been, my mom is always under a new fling, and she lets them do whatever to her and my sisters stopped talking to me a month ago. They are tired of hearing me cry about the same shit.

RWDRT: Ok, so what makes you stay?

B: I feel like I need him, in a way. We have been together for so long, I don't think I could move on from him, I don;t want to have to meet someone else all over again and do this.

RWDRT: So you would rather go thru what you go thru with him, instead of trying to find something better, someone who treats you better? Brittany, it sounds to me that you have a lack of self-esteem. You are young, you're not married, no kids with this dude, nothing is tying you to him. You may have passed up the love of your life going back to him over and over again. And he only does what you allow him to. He made you the main girl because he knew that you weren't strong enough to go anywhere. Not only that, he is the only person you have had sex with, this dude could have a pinky dick and you don't even know it!

B: I don't have low self esteem ok, I know I look good, I just prefer to be with him. We are going to be together forever. People just be hating.

This is when I let the conversation go. It's obvious that when love takes over, you become blind to A LOT of shit sometimes. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't teach that dumb muthafucka to drink, that's for sure.

I know I got a lot of thoughts and comments @ this one....feel free...go hard...

*names changed for privacy


  1. You got my mind rolling in thoughts. This is such a reccuring thing with young femles today. I have a few close friends in the smae situation and both of my sisters are in the same type of relationship. To me I do believe that it is 1 of 3 things that make these "girls" stay. #1 He has a nice penis and the sex as her hypnotized. #2 They have a child together, and she feels that she is spoiled goods (thus hindering finding a good man)#3 She has no self-esteem/ her Father was never around/ her Mother has had many unhealthy relationships.

    It's messed up-because there are so many men out there looking for a quality lady, but cannot find one because she is hiding underneath some dusty punk. I thank God everyday for my husband-He never was that type of dude.

  2. She needs to read why men love bitches-Sherry Argov...and get/steal/buy a self esteem in the process!

  3. I cringed while reading this it sounded like (me) when I was younger..girl I was with this fool for years (14-21). When I got tired of the nonsense , opened my eyes to what was really going on and Kicked his butt to the curve. Is when I began to experiance life realized what I missed out on wasting my time with him..

    ( I stayed out of fear of the unknown and being with someone that is famiar ter a while you will get tired and want better for urself)

    I'm married to a good man Now! I ran into one of his family memeber who proveeded to tell me how good I looked and how he missed outa good woman and that he is still doing the same__ish 17 years later... I shook my head and thanked gawd I left him aor I would still be stuck in the cycle. (my pc is really cutting up hope you understand my post)

  4. Cake, girl, why don't you have an email addy in your profile?! Anyhoo [this is so off topic] but you remember what I posted to you in the other thread about that punk azz yeahisaidit? Welp...that nicca got owned by me earlier today on RWS. Check it out...I guarantee you're going to get a real kick out of it!! ;)

  5. stay stay stay @ least u know what u got! unless he is is discovered downlow or u get the chris pound it out!

  6. I know this story all so well!!! Thats was me a couple of years ago depending on a man to define me. It wasn't until i met someone new and far different that I realized i could do better. Brittney needs to learn how to love herself first and found her voice so she can get out of this drama filled relationship before it gets deadly.U have to let a person make the change on there own..she will realize she doesn't need him!!! So leave Brittney !!! and leave Fast!!

  7. wow that is a amazing story! i was like "that nigga is gone kill her one day" real talk those kind of relationships are sad :/

  8. Yeesh, that was sad and depressing to read.
    I can't tell you how many stupid females I knew back home that were stuck in garbage relationships like that. Bronx mentality I guess...part of why I left home and refuse to move back.